Are You Stuck in the Busy Trap? 5 Time Management Tips for the New Year
"Now we have to contend with overstimulation and too many opportunities all the time, and too many decisions all the time"
- Elizabeth McGovern
Another year has passed and here we are celebrating a new year. For a lot of people, the start of a New Year is a time of reflection and setting goals for the next 12 months. This can feel empowering to some, but dreadful to others. The start of the new year can also be a painful reminder of all the things that you have not completed or feeling like life is passing you by. Thats how I felt for a long time. I felt guilty for not following through with "goals" and felt like I wasn't doing enough. I was always trying to keep myself busy and productive. If someone had told me a few years ago that being busy could be an escape mechanism, I might have laughed it off. How could being productive and engaged in life’s many activities be anything but positive?
The Temptation of Busyness
For as long as I can remember, I’ve thrived on having a packed schedule. From work commitments and social events to hobbies and family responsibilities, my days were carefully planned, and every hour had a purpose. I use to love getting my beautiful planner at the beginning of the year to fill with dates and highlighted notes. It felt empowering to feel like I was in control. But beneath the surface, this constant busyness masked deeper issues. I wasn't in control at all. It wasn't just about being productive; it was about avoiding the calmness of not having anything to do, where I would have to confront my thoughts, fears, and insecurities. If I didn't have anything to work toward or something to keep me busy, I had no choice but to sit down and let reality hit me.
The Turning Point
The turning point came when I hit a wall. Physically, I was exhausted with constant headaches, neck tension, and my immune system was suffering. Mentally, I was overwhelmed, burnt out, and anxious all the time. Emotionally, I felt disconnected from myself and those around me. I found myself wishing that I had more time in a day and felt like 24 hours wasn't enough to get everything done. I was putting my relationship with my daughter to the side and self care wasn't even an option. I realized that my addiction to busyness was taking a toll on my well-being. I started to experience the heaviness of "mom guilt" for not spending enough time with my daughter and being able to "just relax".
It was a wake-up call. I needed to understand why I was so addicted to being busy and how I could reclaim a sense of balance in my life.
But beneath the surface, this constant busyness masked deeper issues. I wasn't in control at all.
Understanding the Habit of Being Busy
Through reflection and therapy, I began to understand the roots of my addiction to busyness. Being busy was a way to feel validated and worthy. Growing up with a single working mom, relaxation was something that was frowned upon. I realized that our culture often glorifies busyness. We’re taught to equate our worth with our productivity, leading many of us to wear our packed schedules as a badge of honor. My mom was always on the go working long days/hours and even when she was off work, those days were filled with chores and tasks that needed to get done. If we were caught "relaxing", my mom called us "lazy" and made us get up to do something productive. Completing tasks and achievements were met with praise. So it made sense to me why I viewed "busyness" as a positive thing. As an adult, it was easier to focus on external achievements than to face internal challenges.
Since I don't have a relationship with my family now as an adult, I was using busyness as a coping mechanism to avoid uncomfortable emotions and unresolved issues of loneliness. When I had nothing to do, my mind started playing tricks on me telling me that I had nobody and nothing to do.
So as we get ready to embark on a New Year, remember that true fulfillment doesn’t come from being constantly busy; it comes from meaningful engagement in activities that truly matter to us. Whether it is with family, friends, pets, or by ourselves. It is when we decide to stop ignoring ourselves and putting ourselves first.
The Journey to Balance
Breaking free from the addiction to busyness was not easy. It is still difficult some days. It required a conscious effort to slow down and embrace a new way of living. Here are some steps that helped me on this journey:
Prioritizing Self-Care
I started by making self-care a non-negotiable part of my routine. This meant setting aside time each day for activities that nurtured my mind, body, and soul—whether it was a quiet walk in nature, reading a book, or simply taking a few moments to breathe. Think of it as scheduling self-care into your week. You can start off with 3 days out of the week and eventually increase the number of days. For some people, it helps to literally schedule these breaks into their day.
Setting Boundaries
Learning to say no was crucial. I realized that I didn’t have to accept every invitation or take on every task. Setting boundaries allowed me to focus on what truly mattered and gave me the space to breathe. You cant take up every responsibility for others that someone else can do. If that makes sense.
Mindful Living
I began practicing mindfulness, which helped me stay present and appreciate the moment. Mindfulness taught me to slow down, observe my thoughts without judgment, and find joy in the simple things. My favorite mindful activity is going out for a walk around the block with no distractions. Just listening to the birds, feeling the wind against my face, and admiring the outdoors. Other times it can be simply sitting in my office chair, closing my eyes, and just taking a few deep breaths. You have to try different things and see what brings you comfort.
Evaluating My Commitments
I took a hard look at my commitments and evaluated their importance. I let go of activities that no longer served me and focused on those that brought genuine fulfillment and joy. Prioritize what is important versus what is not important in this moment. What can wait or what can you skip? Evaluate if these commitments bring you peace or stress.
Seeking Support
Talking to a therapist was incredibly helpful. It provided a safe space to explore my feelings and develop healthier coping strategies. Connecting with a therapist helped me work through some of the beliefs that I had about productivity and rewiring past experiences. Surrounding myself with supportive friends and daughter also made a significant difference.
Embracing Stillness
One of the most profound changes in my journey was learning to embrace stillness. Initially, the quiet was uncomfortable, but over time, I am slowly finding peace in it. Stillness allows me to connect with my inner self, to reflect, and to recharge. It became a source of strength rather than something to avoid. It actually feels more helpful because it helps me feel recharged.
Moving Forward
As we go into a New Year, I will strive to live a balanced life. I still enjoy being active and engaged, but one of my goals is to no longer be addicted to busyness. My worth is not determined by how packed my schedule is or achievements, but by the quality of my experiences and the depth of my connections.
To anyone struggling with a similar addiction, I encourage you to take a step back and reflect on your relationship with busyness. Give yourself permission to slow down, to say no, and to prioritize your well-being. Remember, life is not a race to be constantly busy but a journey to be savored and enjoyed.
Happy New Year!
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Warm regards,
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